The only regrets you’ll ever have are the risks you never took. ANONYMOUS

Bessie Jennings has never let age be a barrier to achieving her dreams. At 76, she currently works as a part-time relationship counsellor, part-time University of the Third Age (U3A) tutor, and a self-published performing bush poet. Bessie started her relationship counselling training in 1998 and was awarded a Diploma at the age of 74. Bessie believes life begins at 67 as this was when she married her third husband Frank (after being widowed twice). They recently moved from a huge garden/orchard to a little villa in Port Macquarie. Bessie is always looking to tackle new challenges and has taken up linedancing this year!

What gave you the motivation/inspiration to follow your dream?

I first met Frank when I was 17, as he was a boarder in our house. We were always great mates. It took us 50 years to take the plunge and decide to spend the rest of our lives together. It is proving to be a great adventure and we’ve been married for eight years.

At what point did you realise that your dream was actually possible and what was it that made you think you could really do it?

During extremely unhappy times in my second marriage I often wished I had access to marriage counselling, but back then I didn’t even know where to start to get help. Over the years friends had always confided in me and I began to think if I could train to be a marriage counsellor, I would. Many years later a course was offered in Port Macquarie so I enrolled and began to realise my dream. The Diploma course involved study, exams and supervised practical work, so it was a lot of work but I got there!

When you were a child, what did you want to ‘be’ when you grew up?

I loved reading, especially biographies. The first thing I wanted to be was an author, and now I am thoroughly enjoying my writing. My first foray into self-publishing was a biography I’d written about my Dad. A friend had self-published a family history and I thought ‘well if she can do that I can do that too!’ I approached some local printers for help. It was a very therapeutic process for me and made me see Dad as a person rather than a power standing over me, as he had been while I was growing up.

How did your childhood influence you in later life?

I was born in the Port Macquarie area but grew up in Sydney during the Depression years, as my father thought we would have better access to education in the city. I had been a feminist from about the age of eight and was keenly aware of the many ‘double standards’ within my community. I didn’t agree that it was OK for boys to do certain things but not girls. I was lucky to have gone to a high school where we were encouraged to think of ourselves as people with potential, rather than adhering to the gender stereotyping of the times.

Who are your role models?

One woman who made a huge impression on me was Madame Curie. In my youth I’d read her biography written by her daughter Eve Curie. Madame Curie became a real role model for me along with Gandhi. My mother, and various friends who I’ve met along the way, have also been role models. Still today I am continually inspired by unsung heroes I meet every day, who keep adventuring on, such as a fellow bush poetry fan who has spent her life in a wheelchair and is learning to write bush poetry and present it. She has real courage and can be an inspiration to others.

What does success mean to you?

Success means facing challenges and dealing with them, learning and growing, solving problems and being on good terms with the people around me, including my neighbours. I also think it equates to having a sense of satisfaction by contributing something to the world.

What has been one of the biggest barriers you have had to face, what happened, and how did you overcome it?

At 45 I was in a very difficult marriage. I was suicidally depressed and felt my life was a misery. Luckily I found a GROW group. GROW was a turning point and helped me enormously to get over this huge hurdle. I learned how to think straight and be my own person and stand up for myself. [GROW offers self-help groups run by members who meet weekly, offering support, anonymity and confidentiality. [ww.grow.net.au]

Where do you see yourself in 10 years time? What is your vision for the future?

It is hard to fit in all the things I want to do! At 86, I think I will still be enjoying writing and performing bush poetry. I’ll still be enjoying friendships and family relationships. I don’t know whether I’ll still be counselling. That remains to be seen. If great changes are required of me by way of learning new approaches, I may just drop out of that scene and say ‘Thanks for the ride, it’s been great but that’s enough’.

In December 2005 I self-published a second book of original bush poems, as well as a CD of my verses, and I expect there will be at least one more book!

What would you like to say to other women who may be just starting out on a ‘daring to dream’ journey?

Life is too short to hang back and hesitate—seize the day! It is not too late to learn some new skill that maybe you thought you weren’t good at. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. Just because you can’t do something doesn’t mean you don’t have the ability, it just means you haven’t learned it yet! I like the GROW saying: ‘You alone can do it but you can’t do it alone’.