'Don’t ever think that what you need or want is less important than what others need or want. As nurturers and carers, women do it all the time. Work out when you need to put yourself first.'

Vicki St Lawrence was Chair of an annual NSW Women’s Gathering Committee which hosted the event in 2006 at Grafton. She lives on a small rural property in the Clarence Valley 30 kilometres from Grafton. Vicki moved to the North Coast with her two-year-old son in 1981. She had plans to become ‘self sufficient’ by building a home, growing food, and using alternative energy. Vicki soon realised that living with a small child on a pension in a shed without electricity or running water was proving too difficult, so she went back to work. In 1999 Vicki took the plunge and established a one-woman human services management consulting business specialising in rural and regional public, private and community clients.

What gave you the motivation/inspiration to follow your dream?

Doors shut that stop you heading down the path you thought was yours, but another door opens that gives you an alternative. After various jobs I joined the NSW Public Sector and established the North Coast Area Assistance Scheme and later the NSW Rural Health Support Unit, both based in Grafton. Towards the end of this eight-year period, I also spent five months working on secondment in Sydney and knew that moving back to the city was not an option. I had become a country woman at heart. Unfortunately the Rural Health Support Unit was closed in a funding reshuffle. I saw this as an opportunity to look at other work possibilities by looking through a new door. As no-one based on the North Coast was providing human services management consulting at the time, I saw my opportunity. Instead of being a ‘displaced officer’ I took control of my life, used my redundancy as capital and set up my business.

At what point did you realise that your dream was actually possible and what was it that made you think you could really do it?

I never make a life-changing decision without giving things a lot of thought. I talked my ideas through with mentors and calculated the risks. I really knew I could make a success of it when I had my first contract secured before I had even left the public service job. I began to think ‘yes, there is work out there and I can do it!’

When you were a child, what did you want to ‘be’ when you grew up?

I grew up in Kensington in Sydney but spent most weekends and school holidays in the Blue Mountains, where my parents were building a house. Wentworth Falls was very wild back then and gave me a taste of bush life. I didn’t know what I wanted to be when I grew up but I knew what I didn’t want to be! I knew I wanted a career rather than to tread the traditional path for women. I never even thought about getting married or having children. I knew I needed to have a tertiary education and, after studying, my first permanent job was as a graduate clerk with the Department of Urban and Regional Development in Canberra.

How did your childhood influence you in later life?

My parents were good working-class people. I have an older sister and brother, and, being the baby of the family, I usually had to do whatever they wanted. My sister left home to go nursing when I was 11, so I learned that women could be independent. I was also fortunate to go to a selective school, Sydney Girls High. This had a huge influence on me, as the school groomed girls to have a career. One of my best friends at school was American and her parents were academics. This showed me there were many diverse possibilities in life, and careers beyond the norm.

My parents didn’t ever push me into a career path or say I should get married and have children. They supported most of my decisions. Women who work in non-traditional areas are a constant inspiration.

Perhaps the fact that I was in utero and a baby when my parents were owner-building may have influenced my decision to do the same!

Who are your role models?

When I was on secondment in Sydney I met Robyn Henderson, the then Director-General of the Department for Women, who became a mentor. Robyn had been a consultant with a wealth of experience to share and we still keep in touch. I was also given a book by Ruth Cotton (who, by the way, reviewed the Rural Health Support Unit) about her experience of leaving the public service to start a consultancy.

From 2003 to 2007 I employed the help of a business coach, Pam Sinclair from Unique Vantage, and found this a fantastic help both professionally and personally. Pam doesn’t give advice but asks the right questions to help me make effective decisions. The coachingwas done over the phone, as she didn’t live close by. I found that worked well and our discussions were very open and objective.

What does success mean to you?

I like to set a task and complete it with a quality outcome. Building my own house was a real success. I want to manage interesting projects and make enough money to support my lifestyle which is comfortable but not lavish. It isn’t about becoming a large employer or having a multimillion dollar turnover. I did actually consider growing my business but I came to the conclusion that it would take a lot of networking and travelling to the cities and I didn’t want to do that. My measure of success is that I have established a business that has survived for ten years and supports my lifestyle.

What has been one of the biggest barriers you have had to face, what happened, and how did you overcome it?

My biggest barriers have been on the personal level. Before leaving the city I’d undertaken courses and read books and magazines on how to live an ‘alternative lifestyle’. I soon discovered after moving north to the Clarence Valley with my two-year-old son that reading and doing were proving to be very different. I had a half-share in 100 acres and a small shed where we lived, but no running water, no electricity, and a wood stove. I didn’t want to be just surviving on a pension so I decided to go back to work. There was no childcare available, so my son was minded by friends all over the Valley.

A year later I became pregnant. My second son’s father left after we found out I was pregnant. How did I become a single parent with two children? This wasn’t the image I had of myself. I learned a very good lesson about not judging people and making assumptions, particularly as my own judgment had proved so wrong. The only way I could manage was to take one day at a time. I knew the first two years were going to be impossible but I owed it to my children. If we could just get through that we would be OK.

To make matters worse, when my second son was six months old I had to sell our shed/home and land. (The other owners needed to move away.) During that experience I learned to put my family’s needs first and stand up for myself, and eventually I negotiated an outcome that provided the three of us with a secure place to live which had electricity connected and was closer to a sealed road. We lived in a caravan until we finally moved into the house that I built. I had more time than money, and owner-building was the best option for getting a roof over our heads. I’ve since extended the house into a very comfortable home for the boys and me.

Where do you see yourself in 10 years time? What is your vision for the future?

This is the longest lasting ‘job’ I’ve ever had. I went through a period of restlessness a couple of years ago and considered moving on, but am once again happy with my work and life situation. I am 57 now, so in 10 years time I want to be semi-retired.

What would you like to say to other women who may be just starting out on a Daring to Dream journey?

• Think. Think it through then think it through again. Think about different scenarios and risks. If you are the family breadwinner you need to take fewer risks, or at least well-calculated ones with fallback positions, as your family is taking the risk as well. By identifying risks you can mitigate them if you know what they are. If you are going into business, make sure you have a comprehensive business plan and seek the free business advice services provided by Business Enterprise Centres – before you commit to a business.
• Take responsibility for your decisions. Don’t ever totally blame anybody else for things that don’t work out. That doesn’t mean that you take full responsibility for everything. But do think about the decisions you made that brought you to this position and acknowledge your degree of responsibility, as this gives you a lot more control over what happens to you in the future. When you understand the journey that brought you to your current position (good or bad), you can map out the journey to your next destination.
• Don’t ever think that what you need or want is less important than what others need or want. As nurturers and carers, women do it all the time. Work out when you need to put yourself first.
• Business is business, so don’t take things personally. Women (including me) have problems with this. Men have learned how to deal with competition often on the sporting field. They can go out, rough each other up on, say, the rugby field, and after the game have a beer and a laugh together. They know how to separate ‘business’ from personal relationships, and women have to learn to do the same.
• Find a mentor or business coach you can trust who will ask the ‘right’ questions and give you objective feedback.
• Get an education — it’s never too late. I was able to overcome many challenges because I had an education and work experience before I went out on my own.